If you forgive someone who has done something bad or wrong you stop being angry with them and no longer want to punish them. (Collins Dictionary)
When someone wrongs us, we like to make them pay. But how do we get ourselves to the point where we truly forgive them and stop punishing them in our thoughts, words and even actions.
Some suggestions that might help:
1 We need to ask God’s forgiveness for our reactions – the self-justification, self-righteousness and resentment.
2 We can ask God’s help to forgive them – after all, forgiveness is God’s specialty, so it’s a prayer with a definite 'yes' answer.
3 It helps to remind ourselves how much God has forgiven us. We might feel they don’t deserve our forgiveness, but we definitely don’t deserve God’s. It doesn’t actually cost us anything to forgive and it cost God everything.
4 It helps to pray for them – rather than about them.
5 I find it helps to imagine God has a big box. Whenever I start going over and over what they did in my head, I pick them up and put them in God’s box and shut the lid. It’s like doing something practical in my mind which says, this is in your court, Lord, not mine.
6 We should remember that we will only be forgiven if we forgive (Luke 6:37).
7 Whatever comes into our lives, remember that " all things work together for good for those who love God" (Romans 8:28). Knowing that whatever someone has done to us, God only allows into your life things that are ultimately for our good, is a great comfort and aid to forgiveness.
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